IMing with the Cullens
by Beneath The Shining Stars
Summary: Alice made everyone get an IM account! I know there's a lot of these, but they're still funny! Rated T just in case.
1. No one else is as awesome

**I know that there are a lot of these, but they're funny, and easy to write!**

**I need help thinking of some usernames! If you have an idea, please tell me in a review or send me a message! Even if it's for a character I already have, if I like it enough I might change it. I especially need ideas for Rosalie, Jacob, Carlisle, and Esme.**

**- - -  
**

_**FashionPixie**__ – Alice_

_**^.^ -.-' 0.o **__- Jasper_

_**TheAwesomestPersonEver**__ – Emmett_

_**StupidAnnoyingMindReader**__ – Edward_

_**DangerMagnet**__ – Bella_

_- - -  
_

_**FashionPixie**__ has logged in_

_**TheAwesomestPersonEver**__ has logged in_

**TheAwesomestPersonEver:** Hey Alice!

**FashionPixie:** Hi Emmett!

**TheAwesomestPersonEver:** Hey, how did you know its me? =(

**FashionPixie:** Who else would name themselves that?

**TheAwesomestPersonEver:** Oh, yeah! 'Cuz no one else is as awesome as me!

**FashionPixie:** Not what I meant.

**TheAwesomestPersonEver:** OOO, GUESS WHAT?!?!

**FashionPixie:** WHAT?!?!

**TheAwesomestPersonEver:** I forgot. And it was really funny, too!

**FashionPixie:** Aww, that's too bad. =(

_**^.^ -.-' 0.o **__has logged in_

**FashionPixie:** Hi Jasper!

**^.^ -.-' 0.o:** Hello Alice!

**FashionPixie:** Guess what!

**^.^ -.-' 0.o:** What?

**FashionPixie:** I made everyone else IM accounts too! And I'm making them use them!

**^.^ -.-' 0.o:** How are you _making_ them use them?

**FashionPixie:** ... ... ...

**FashionPixie:** I have my ways *shifty eyes*

**^.^ -.-' 0.o:** I changed my mind, I don't want to know.

**FashionPixie:** Oh! Bella and Edward are going to come on soon!

_**StupidAnnoyingMindReader**__ has logged in_

_**DangerMagnet**__ has logged in_

**FashionPixie:** Hi Edward! Hi Bella!

**DangerMagnet:** Hey, Alice. Hi Edward!

**StupidAnnoyingMindReader:** Hi Alice. Hello Bella!

**FashionPixie:** What?! I'm not important enough for an exclamation mark?! D= I feel unloved!

**DangerMagnet:** It's OK Alice, I still love you. I just love Edward more.

**TheAwesomestPersonEver:** LOL!!! Alice and Bella, sitting in a tree!

**DangerMagnet:** Ew! Not that kind of love!

**DangerMagnet:** Hey Edward, do you know what your username is?

**StupidAnnoyingMindReader:** No, why? It just says "me" on my screen...

**StupidAnnoyingMindReader:** !!!!! Alice, you-

_**StupidAnnoyingMindReader**__ has logged out_

**^.^ -.-' 0.o:** Speaking of usernames, have you seen _yours_, Bella?

**DangerMagnet:** No... UGH Alice, I'm gonna kill you, or, better yet, not go shopping with you for a week!

**FashionPixie:** NOOO!!! Don't do this to me!!! PLEASE!!!! I'm sorry! Emmett made me do it!

**TheAwesomestPersonEver:** Hey, no I didn't-

**FashionPixie:** Shut up and take the bla- I mean, admit to it, or I'll dress you up for a week!

**TheAwesomestPersonEver:** o.o I DID IT, I DID IT!!!!

_**DangerMagnet**__ has logged out_

_**Piano_Player**__ has logged in_

_**Vamps4Ever**__ has logged in_

**Piano_Player:** Much better!

**TheAwesomestPersonEver:** Love the name, Bella! xP

**Vamps4Ever:** Yay! I love it too!

**TheAwesomestPersonEver:** g2g!

_**TheAwesomestPersonEver**__ has logged out_

**Vamps4Ever:** What's he doing?

**Piano_Player:** You don't want to know... *Tries to block out Emmett and Rosalie's thoughts*

**^.^ -.-' 0.o:** I can feel their emotions from across the house! Alice, wanna-

**FashionPixie:** Right behind you!

_**FashionPixie**__ has logged out_

_**^.^ -.-' 0.o **__has logged out_

**Vamps4Ever:** Oh, Charlie's asleep!

**Piano_Player:** I'll be right over! I need to get away from everyone's minds... *shudders*

_**Piano_Player**__ has logged out_

_**Vamps4Ever**__ has logged out_

- - -

**Sorry, it's not very funny. This was just me trying to get a sort of introduction chapter. The next one will be better, I promise. I'm going to wait 'till I have a funny idea.**

**I need username suggestions! And reviews! They make me happy! =) Whoever reviews gets virtual cookies, and the satisfaction of making me happy and therefore making me update sooner. And the person that reviews first gets the next chapter dedicated to them!**

**-Savannah**


	2. All two and a half monkeys

**Thankyou for reviewing, cullensdazzleme and girlpower8900! This chapter is dedicated to you two!**

- - -

_**FashionPixie**__ – Alice_

_**^.^ -.-' 0.o**__ - Jasper_

_**TheAwesomestPersonEver**__ – Emmett_

_**PianoPlayer**__ – Edward_

_**Vamps4Ever**__ – Bella_

- - -

_**FashionPixie**__ has logged in_

_**^.^ -.-' 0.o**__ has logged in_

**FashionPixie:** OMC Jazzy, I had a great idea!

**^.^ -.-' 0.o:** Please let it not be about shopping!

**FashionPixie:** Yay, shopping! That's not what it is, but that's a good idea! Let's go to the mall after this!

**^.^ -.-' 0.o:** Ugh... what is your idea, then?

**FashionPixie:** My idea is... drumroll please!

**^.^ -.-' 0.o:** ...

**FashionPixie:** Fine, no drumroll then. =( Oh well! K, so here's my idea: You should be a psychiatrist!!

**^.^ -.-' 0.o:** ... 0.o

**FashionPixie:** You know, cuz you can feel people emotions and stuff!

**^.^ -.-' 0.o:** I don't want to be a psychiatrist, though... And I'm in the middle of playing Chrono Trigger on computer!

**FashionPixie:** Aww... Oh! I'll be one then! Ooo, here comes Emmett, I can practice on him!

_**TheAwesomestPersonEver**__ has logged in_

**TheAwesomestPersonEver:** Hi! I got my chat thingy to work again!

**FashionPixie:** Mm, how do you feel about that?

**TheAwesomestPersonEver:** I feel... good?

**FashionPixie:** Mm, mmhmm. I understand.

**^.^ -.-' 0.o:** I'm 65,000,000 years in the past and someone just stole my time-traveler!

**TheAwesomestPersonEver:** Dang, I hate it when that happens!

**FashionPixie:** How do you feel about that?

**^.^ -.-' 0.o:** Bad?

**TheAwesomestPersonEver:** I REALLY hate it when that happens!

**^.^ -.-' 0.o:** Yeah, I can tell. *Evil grin*

**TheAwesomestPersonEver:** It makes me SO mad!!!!!

**FashionPixie:** How does that make you feel, Emmett?

**TheAwesomestPersonEver:** MMMMAAAAAAAADDDDD!!!!!! I say

**^.^ -.-' 0.o:** Yum, mountain lion!

**FashionPixie:** Mm, mmhmm. What else do you have to say about that?

**TheAwesomestPersonEver:** SSSSSOOOOOOOO MMMMMMMMMAAAAAAAAAADDDDDDDDD

**^.^ -.-' 0.o:** Ayla's gonna help me find it, though.

**FashionPixie:** How does that make her feel?

**^.^ -.-' 0.o:** Uhh... happy?

**FashionPixie:** mm, mmhmm, I understand.

**FashionPixie:** Emmett, why do you feel that way?

**TheAwesomestPersonEver:** TTTHHHAAAATTTTT IIIIII HHHHAAAAAAAVVVVVVEEEEEE TTTTTOOOOOOOOO TTTTYYYYPPPPEEEEEEE EEVVVVVVEEEERRRRRYYYY LLLEEEETTTTTTEEEEEEERRRRRRRR MMUUUUULLLLLTTTTTTTTIIIIIPPPLLLLEEE TTTTTTIIIIIIIMMMMMMMMMEEEEEESSSSSSSS!!!!!!!!!!

**FashionPixie:** Mmm, so you have to type every letter multiple times. Mmhmm, I understand.

**TheAwesomestPersonEver:** AAANNNNNDDDD IIIIINNNNNNN AAAALLLL CCCCCAAAAAAAAPPPPPPPPSSSSSS!!!!!!!

**FashionPixie:** mmm, how does that make you feel?

**^.^ -.-' 0.o:** I think you need to see a zoologist about this.

**FashionPixie:** xP

**^.^ -.-' 0.o:** Or maybe a mechanic.

**TheAwesomestPersonEver:** What was I mad about? I forgot.

**^.^ -.-' 0.o:** The monkey escaped, remember?

**TheAwesomestPersonEver:** The monkey?

**^.^ -.-' 0.o:** Yeah, all 2 1/2 of them.

**TheAwesomestPersonEver:** OHHHHH NNNNOOOOO!!!!!!

**FashionPixie:** How does that make you feel?

**TheAwesomestPersonEver:** I feel... THE SHIFT KEY!!!

**^.^ -.-' 0.o:** All 2.5 monkeys escaped out of the window in the basement.

**^.^ -.-' 0.o:** Remember?

**TheAwesomestPersonEver:** aww, i can't feel the shift key. at all. where did it go/

**^.^ -.-' 0.o:** Big bird escaped by burrowing under the 3rd story

**Vamps4Ever:** You mean he walked out the front door?

**^.^ -.-' 0.o:** No, he fell through the ceiling. And ran through the wall- wait, how'd you get here, Bella?

**Vamps4Ever:** I was here the whole time. =P

**TheAwesomestPersonEver:** I FOUND THE SHIFT KEY!!!!!!

**Vamps4Ever:** Good for you.

**TheAwesomestPersonEver:** LOOKIT WHAT I FOUND!!!! Rosalie raves under Emmett. The marital supermarket keeps Rosalie. Emmett shares Rosalie below a pose. Rosalie railroads a rose. Emmett malfunctions.

**Vamps4Ever:** ???

**TheAwesomestPersonEver:** RANDOM PARAGRAPH GENERATOR!!! You just put a word in each box and click go!

The kidney blames Edward's piano in the request. Should Emmett's shoe calculate over Edward's piano? Emmett's shoe rules! The courage worships Emmett's shoe next to the trade.

**TheAwesomestPersonEver:** Oh yeah! My shoe rules! TAKE THAT, EDWARD'S PIANO!!!

**FashionPixie:** 0.o

**^.^ -.-' 0.o:** Wow.

**Vamps4Ever:** Weeiird. I WANNA TRY!!!!

**Vamps4Ever:** The coffee cuts the degraded Edward. Within Bella rattles the dye. The warrant rubs Bella. On top of the crawling spur triumphs Edward. A task jackets an adequate editor and Bella into the diner.

_**^.^ -.-' 0.o**__ has logged out_

**FashionPixie:** Wait for me, Jazzy!

_**FashionPixie**__ has logged out_

**Vamps4Ever:** Hey, I'm not being stuck with just Emmett!

_**Vamps4Ever**__ has logged out_

**TheAwesomestPersonEver:** LONELY, I'M SO LONELY, I HAVE NOBODY, FOR MY OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOWWWNNN

_**TheAwesomestPersonEver**__ has logged out_

- - -

**This is actually based off of a chat me, my brother, and my parents had. But we had a lot more random paragraphs. =P**

**Please, I still need usernames suggestions! I mostly need names for Rosalie, Jacob, Esme, and Carlisle, since they're more of main characters. But, if you want any minor characters, I need usernames for them! Even if you don't think they're very good, they're probably better than the ideas I have for those characters!**

**Please review! They make me feel speeeeeeeecial! Reviews = virtual cookie. Ideas = virtual dessert of your choice. So review, people! =D And tell me what kind of cookie/dessert you want!**

**-Savannah**


	3. When did you learn big words?

**Thankyou so much everyone that reviewed:**

**girlpower8900**

**xxthelastonexx**

**Annette Lee**

**ireallylovetwilight**

**kittygatto888**

**Eliza C.**

**chocopanda96**

**Special thanks to xxthelastonexx for the idea for Rosalie's name!**

**Wow! I can't believe I have **_**10 whole reviews**_**! In just two chapters!Sorry for not updating in sooo long. I couldn't think of anything, and then when I did, I had waaaay too much homework.**

- - -

_**FashionPixie**__ – Alice_

_**^.^ -.-' 0.o**__ - Jasper_

_**TheAwesomestPersonEver**__ – Emmett_

_**PianoPlayer**__ – Edward_

_**Vamps4Ever**__ – Bella_

_**PerfectInEveryWay**__ – Rosalie_

- - -

_**TheAwesomestPersonEver**__ has logged in_

_**^.^ -.-' 0.o**__ has logged in_

**TheAwesomestPersonEver:** Hi Jasper!

**^.^ -.-' 0.o:** Hey, Emmett. Whats up?

**TheAwesomestPersonEver:** The sky

**^.^ -.-' 0.o:** I guess that _is_ up...

**TheAwesomestPersonEver:** Clouds

**TheAwesomestPersonEver:** Birds

**TheAwesomestPersonEver:** Rainclouds

**TheAwesomestPersonEver:** Hot air balloons

**^.^ -.-' 0.o:** ...

**TheAwesomestPersonEver:** Airplanes

**TheAwesomestPersonEver:** Butterflies

**TheAwesomestPersonEver:** The ceiling of my room

**TheAwesomestPersonEver:** The ceiling of your room

**TheAwesomestPersonEver:** Outerspace

**TheAwesomestPersonEver:** Stars

**TheAwesomestPersonEver:** Sun

**^.^ -.-' 0.o:** Wow.

**TheAwesomestPersonEver:** Moon

**TheAwesomestPersonEver:** Jupiter

**TheAwesomestPersonEver:** Stratosphere

**TheAwesomestPersonEver:** Mesosphere

**TheAwesomestPersonEver:** Thermosphere

**TheAwesomestPersonEver:** Troposphere

**TheAwesomestPersonEver:** Exosphere

**^.^ -.-' 0.o:** When did you learn big words?

**TheAwesomestPersonEver:** Mercury

**TheAwesomestPersonEver:** Venus

**TheAwesomestPersonEver:** Pluto

**TheAwesomestPersonEver:** Mars

**TheAwesomestPersonEver:** The Milky Way

**TheAwesomestPersonEver:** Saturn

**TheAwesomestPersonEver:** Uranus

**TheAwesomestPersonEver:** Neptune

**TheAwesomestPersonEver:** All the constellations

**TheAwesomestPersonEver:** Pterodactyls

**TheAwesomestPersonEver:** Other flying dinosaurs

**TheAwesomestPersonEver:** Blue Jays

**TheAwesomestPersonEver:** Robins

**TheAwesomestPersonEver:** Crows

**TheAwesomestPersonEver:** Wrens

**TheAwesomestPersonEver:** Sparrows

**^.^ -.-' 0.o:** Is this ever gonna end?

**TheAwesomestPersonEver:** Treetops

**TheAwesomestPersonEver:** Rainbows

**TheAwesomestPersonEver:** Rain

**TheAwesomestPersonEver:** Snow

**TheAwesomestPersonEver:** Sleet

**TheAwesomestPersonEver:** Hail

**^.^ -.-' 0.o:** I guess not.

**TheAwesomestPersonEver:** Telephone wires

_**^.^ -.-' 0.o**__ has logged out_

**TheAwesomestPersonEver:** Oxygen

**TheAwesomestPersonEver:** Magical flying cows

**TheAwesomestPersonEver:** Aww, but I just finished! ;(

**TheAwesomestPersonEver:** Meanie.

_**TheAwesomestPersonEver**__ has logged out_

- - -

**I always do this to my friends when they ask me what's up. =P It started with just The Sky, but then I started answering with a whole list. Eventually, they learned not to ask me, unless we're really bored. It's pretty funny! Oh, and I always end with the Magical Flying Cows. Yep.**

**I'll try to update sooner next time, sorry. And I might update even **_**sooner**_** if I get a good idea or lots of reviews. *wink wink nudge* xP**

**-Savannah**


	4. I love Tanya now

**Hi! You guys are so lucky, a new chapter two days in a row! =P**

**WOW! You peoples are amazing, 16 reviews since I posted chapter 3! ^.^ Let's see if we can get even more this time! 17 reviews shouldn't be hard for the awesometastic people that are my readers/reviewers! Don't worry, once I come up with another idea and have time to write it, I'll post. I'm not the kind to hold chapters hostage.**

- - -

_**FashionPixie**__ – Alice_

_**^.^ -.-' 0.o**__ - Jasper_

_**TheAwesomestPersonEver**__ – Emmett_

_**PianoPlayer**__ – Edward_

_**Vamps4Ever**__ – Bella_

_**PerfectInEveryWay**__ – Rosalie_

- - -

_**TheAwesomestPersonEver**__ has logged in_

**TheAwesomestPersonEver:** Anybody here?

**TheAwesomestPersonEver:** Guess not...

**TheAwesomestPersonEver:** What should I do...?

**TheAwesomestPersonEver:** *light bulb* Idea alert!!!

**TheAwesomestPersonEver:** Bwa ha ha... *evil grin*

**TheAwesomestPersonEver:** Hmm, It won't let me have his same exact username, and I can't guess his password, but this should work...

_**TheAwesomestPersonEver**__ has logged out_

_**Vamps4Ever**__ has logged in_

_**ThePianoPlayer**__ has logged in_

**Vamps4Ever:** Hi Edward!

**ThePianoPlayer:** Hello, Bella. I need to talk to you about something.

**Vamps4Ever:** What is it?

**ThePianoPlayer:** I'm leaving, Bella. I don't love you anymore.

**Vamps4Ever:** ...

**Vamps4Ever:** ...

**Vamps4Ever:** ...

**Vamps4Ever:** You... you're saying you don't love me?

**ThePianoPlayer:** Yep.

**Vamps4Ever:** But last time you said that, you were lying!

**ThePianoPlayer:** Not this time!

**Vamps4Ever:** NOOO!!!

**ThePianoPlayer:** YEEES!!!

**Vamps4Ever:** Why, Edward?!?!

**ThePianoPlayer:** I love Tanya now.

**Vamps4Ever:** NOOOOO- Hey, wait a minute...

**Vamps4Ever:** I thought you hated Tanya?

**ThePianoPlayer:** *Crap* Uhh...

**Vamps4Ever:** And wasn't your username just PianoPlayer, without a The?

**ThePianoPlayer:** Uhh...

**Vamps4Ever:** You're not Edward!

**ThePianoPlayer:** CRAP!!!! Uhh...

**ThePianoPlayer:** Oh, yeah, you're right, this is Alice!

**Vamps4Ever:** EMMETT!!!! I KNOW IT'S YOU!!!

**ThePianoPlayer:** Please don't tell Edward!!! He'd kill me!

**Vamps4Ever:** Don't worry, I won't tell him. IF...

**ThePianoPlayer:** If what?!?!

**Vamps4Ever:** One, you don't make fun of me for a week.

**ThePianoPlayer:** OK! Fine! Whatever you say! Just don't tell Edward!

**Vamps4Ever:** I'm not done yet...

**ThePianoPlayer:** W-what's the second one?

**Vamps4Ever:** You let me help you next time! *Evil grin*

- - -

**Wow, bet you never saw that coming! =P Sorry it's so short. =(**

**Anyone have any ideas for who they should trick, who they should pretend to be, and what they should say? I have some ideas, but the more the better! =D**

**I still need names for Jacob and Esme. I'm thinking about for Carlisle. What do you think about that? Any better ideas? Any ideas for more chapters? The more ideas I have, the faster I can post a new chapter!**

**-Savannah**


End file.
